Self-Trust, Confidence & the Feeling “I Can”: What We Can Pass On to Students

Kristijan Musek Lešnik
Nov 12, 2025
4 min read

Updated: Nov 26, 2025

Self-trust is the quiet belief “I can.” It grows when young people experience just-right challenges, receive specific, growth-oriented feedback, and feel believed in by the adults who teach them.

“Social skills, empathy, and altruism aren’t “nice to have”—they’re essential life skills.”

People who trust themselves look toward the future with hope and optimism.

Those who doubt themselves tend to approach it with anxiety and fear.

Self-trust is one of the most valuable gifts a child can carry into adulthood. A child who develops the “I can” attitude can face challenges with courage and curiosity. A child who grows into believing “I can’t do it” will hesitate even in front of the smallest obstacles.

Why Self-Trust Matters

People who believe in themselves:

enjoy life and daily activities more fully,
experience less doubt and anxiety,
handle stress more effectively,
have more energy and motivation, and
build healthier, more positive relationships.

Self-trust helps us overcome obstacles. It gives us the strength to stand up after failure instead of staying down. It helps us persist, keep trying, and move forward — even when things get hard.

How Self-Trust Develops

Self-trust isn’t written in our genes. We’re not born with it — it’s built through early experiences.

Children form their sense of “I can” or “I can’t” through the feedback they receive:

When their ideas and efforts are supported or dismissed by adults.
When their attempts lead to successes or setbacks.

A child who grows up feeling “I can” will take on challenges with enthusiasm. A child who feels “I can’t” will avoid them out of fear.

The Gift of Being Believed In

One of the greatest gifts adults can give a child is to make them feel seen, valued, and capable. When a child feels that important people in their life trust their abilities, decisions, and potential, it strengthens their self-image and confidence.

How We Can Strengthen Children’s Self-Trust

By Creating Opportunities for Success. Give children experiences where they can succeed — not by making tasks easy, but by setting appropriately challenging goals. Nothing builds confidence more than overcoming a difficult task with one’s own effort and skills. (Children grow most when challenges are just within reach — not too easy, not impossible.)
By Helping Them Recognize Their Strengths. No one excels at everything. Especially for children who experience more setbacks, it’s crucial to connect their sense of worth to areas where they feel capable and strong. (Focusing only on weaknesses erodes confidence; highlighting strengths builds it. Every child deserves to feel successful at something that matters to them.)
By Using Feedback That Builds Growth. The feedback children receive from adults shapes how they see themselves — and these early self-perceptions guide their choices for years to come. (Feedback that focuses on effort, learning, and progress helps children develop the growth mindset: “I can improve, I can try again, I can grow.”)
By Engineering Winnable Struggles for Them. And by giving feedback that spotlights effort → strategy → progress.

Life-hacks 1: Encourage Confidence in Children and Youth

When they make mistakes or get stuck, encourage them to keep going and overcome obstacles.
Praise effort, not just results — recognize persistence, patience, and courage.
Keep praise authentic and specific — avoid exaggeration.
Promote a positive outlook toward life and people.
Encourage them to learn new things and develop new skills.
Support social interaction — confidence grows in relationships.
Ask them to write down their strengths and achievements.
Motivate them to spend time doing what they love and value.

Common Pitfalls (and Fixes)

Overpraise → feels fake → Fix: be specific and sparse.
Only praising results → risk-avoidance → Fix: praise process & strategy.
Tasks too hard/easy → “I can’t”/boredom → Fix: adjust level, use choice menus.
One-shot grading → no growth signal → Fix: redo cycles.

Life-hacks 2: Strengthen Self-Trust in Yourself

Learn something new — often.
When faced with obstacles, don’t give up; try again, especially if the goal matters to you.
Write down your successes and milestones — acknowledge your progress.
Make time for your hobbies, loved ones, and passions.
Spend time with people who genuinely care about you.
Invest time in activities you’re good at — competence fuels confidence.
Do things that align with your values and beliefs.
Set clear goals and follow through.

In the End

Confidence isn’t arrogance. It’s the quiet but steady belief that you can handle whatever comes — one step, one challenge at a time.

When we show children that we believe in them, we give them more than encouragement —we give them the foundation to believe in themselves. Because the most powerful words a child can carry into life are: “I can.”